jamie and eric-17-and now the staircase

Eric decided it wasn’t worth it. He knew exactly what that paper said. Eric failed.

The lights in the masters building, in most buildings actually, were triggered by motion detectors at intervals along the wall. And as Eric descended the landings blinked into life. This creepy unset feeling distracted Eric from the serene dusky glow mixing with the crisp electric light. All of these time he had been trying to convey how little he was capable of, how the expectations on him were unrealistic. Sure Jamie was good at everything. That meant nothing about Eric. But he wanted it to be true. He wanted to be brilliant. And not useless.

Eric slowed his pace to a stop and sat on the step behind him, frustrated and destroyed. The landing window showed the side of another building and some tree branches. He could open the window here, maybe. Climb down a tree branch to the ground that way. Avoid the people he would pass otherwise.

* * *

“You can’t seriously still be angry after, what has it been? Five months?” Bridgett spoke in just under yelling tones at Dahlia. Dahlia had joined the table were Jamie and Bridgett were researching their respective topics.

“No, Bridgett I haven’t been actively angry at Eric for five months. But he’s been an asshole” Jamie flinched a little at the word, “ever since he got home from the hospital. I was all worried about him and excited to have him back in the house, but every time I tried to talk to him it was ‘uh yeah,’ ‘I guess,’ ‘dunno,’ and sometimes I would get a ‘that sounds neat.’ So yeah I was angry.”

“And you hold that grudge now five months later?” Bridgett had a book open in front of her, but hadn’t looked at it in some time.

“Well maybe a little, but it’s not like I completely gave up on him. He does something every other day that pisses me off.” Jamie flinched again.

Jamie was in the middle of the two girls, and as the conversation had become more lively had sunk into his own book. Continuing to try to read the article, he made a little annoyed sound. Flipped the page back to remember what the article was talking about. Flipped forward again.

“You know that you look for things to be irritated about.” Dahlia started to object, but Bridgett stopped her with a hand motion. “You do it because he hasn’t apologized and you think you’re right and justify your continued not talking to him by finding ways to blame them.”

“So what do you want me to do Bridgett! Apologize to him. Just forget what an ass he’s been and continues to be all this time!”